Weekend recap

This wkend was fun. Friday night was Carol's birthday Drinks & Tapas party at a local restaurant. There were a lot of people there, some I hadn't seen in awhile from college. Good to catch up, drink lemon sangria, and eat delicious cheesecake :)

Saturday was spent sleeping, praying and catching up with God, sleeping (catching up on like forever of being tired), lazily finishing scrapbooking and cleaning my craft table up, and watching TV.

Sunday was church and taking BART/MUNI to San Francisco's Stern Grove for one of their free summer concerts with Nhuanh, Esther, and Wayne. It was cold and foggy but fun to chill on the grass and listen to the Haitian music and snack away. There were lots of people, in the hundreds, with their picnic paskets. I'm envious and have picked up my age-old desire for a picnic basket. After we took the bus up 19th Ave to my fave Vietnamese place PPQ (where I was schooled by Nhuanh that curry chicken noodle dish is not Pho) and to discover that my fave tapioca drink place is now closed :( Ah, times are a changin'...

In two weeks the California Ballet will be at Stern Grove which I'm really excited about. I will so be there!

Good restful fun wkend :)

Feeling grateful

These past two weeks have felt very intense, mostly with work related stuff, but it feels like it's winding down into normalcy. I'm not doing my "unconsciously taking deep breaths" thing which means I'm doing better. Wow, it's been a doozy.

I've been reflecting in the past few weeks about how I feel grateful for the basic things. For being fed, being healthy, a safe shelter, and feeling clean. I have a shower, and fresh water, and a warm bed at night. Of course there are a million more things I'm grateful for (a job, friends, community, my cats) but lately it's just been on those basics. I've been laying in bed at night thinking of those who are going to bed hungry, those searching for a safe corner on the street to sleep, those who do not have the necessary water to quench their thirst.

If you're like me, it can feel overwhelming and there's too much need, too many people that need help. But we can do something: pray, raise awareness, and donate money. Pray with me for God to feed, for God to comfort, for God to bring about institutional change. And if you can, reach out a hand and let God love on the world today through you.

www.wateraid.org
www.kiva.org
www.worldvision.org
www.ijm.org

Starbucks ads - Go Away!

I hate those new Starbucks radio and billboard ads nicely requesting that me and my friends next "meet at Starbucks." You know what? Yes I do already meet ppl at SB's because they're on every block but why did have you have to make it into a marketing campaign? Maybe it's just me but I'm stubbornly resistant to going bc they told me I should. I already have problems with SB's coffee domination - these ads are not increasing the love.

Now I'll just have to meet friends at... I don't know... Safeway? Anyone have a better suggestion?

How Lindsay reveals another slice of our unjust world

Lindsay Lohan needs to go to jail! She just got arrested for her second DUI with posession of cocaine, chasing a car with her recently quit assistant's mom in it (and prob the asst also) in her car. C'mon, it's not hard to fill in the blanks. The assistant got yelled at or started to see a coke party start and she quit, calling her mom to pick her up. Lindsay got pissed and was drunk and possibly high, and started chasing them in her car.

She was found a BLOCK away from a police station, drunk above the legal limit operating a vehicle, with cocaine ON her. How in the world can she escape going to jail? I say this bc I have this bad feeling she just might bc she's a young white girl.

After these arrests last wkend (pulled from SF Chronicle):

Ja Rule and Lil' Wayne Arrested for Gun Possession
Hip-hop stars Lil' Wayne and Ja Rule have been arrested on separate gun possession charges in New York.

Lil' Wayne -- real name Dwayne Michael Carter Jr -- was arrested in Manhattan shortly after his performance at the Beacon Theater on Sunday night.

Police said Carter was found carrying a .40 caliber pistol after he was stopped for smoking marijuana.

In a separate incident, rapper Ja Rule -- real name Jeffrey Atkins -- and two associates were arrested in Manhattan for speeding. A .40 caliber pistol was also found inside his vehicle.

It is hard not to see race being a factor. In general white Americans have a hard time seeing how race plays in arrests and who actually spends time in jail. They say, "People only get arrested and jailed bc they did a crime. Cops arrest equally and judges imprison equally." It's really not true.

I could be wrong but from the above report, it looks like Ja Rule was pulled over for DWB (Driving While Black) and the car/people unfairly searched. I find it hard to believe (yet possible, I'm not a Ja Rule fan or anything) that he had a gun visible in the car for the cop to look in and see. That's what cops are allowed to do - look for visible evidence of crimes and illegal activities when they peek their head into the car. There has to be a strong reason for them to LEGALLY search the car and persons but we all know searching our sisters and esp brothers of color happens all the time.

I don't know really the situation with Ja Rule. Maybe he deserved it. I just have to say I'm suspicious and if he gets arrested for having a gun on him, then Lindsay had better freakin' get in prison for her second DUI in two months and in possession of cocaine.

And I really don't want to see her do a Larry King interview after she gets out.

Appreciating the Garbage Truck

Large parts of the East Bay including Oakland are currently in a state of trash as the Garbage Men/Women are on strike. Some neighborhoods haven't had their trash picked up since July 2nd and concern about smell, flies, and rodents is rising (think about all those July 4th leftovers, still there). The garbage company has replacement workers out there but it's not at full capacity. It is also being noticed that low income communities are being unfairly passed over so that more affluent neighborhoods can get timely trash pick-up
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/07/12/MNGK0QV7HF1.DTL&hw=garbage&sn=009&sc=310.

My area is somehow not affected as we are under contract with a different waste management company. And as I've been seeing the garbage truck lately, doing its normal thing, I can't help but feel grateful. Thank you for picking up my trash and recycling. Thank you for doing a dirty job.

I hope the whole situation can get resolved quickly, with fair wages and treatment given.

Random Thoughts v2

1. I like croutons but I often forget to put them on my salads when I'm at home/work.

2. Salads with smoked turkey or honey ham with a hardboiled egg are yummylicious.

3. I hate those ads with the dancing alien that are right next to news articles so you can't scan down the page quickly or close them. They are distracting and not cute.

4. My cats are really cute and funny. I call them Pumpkin and Bunny sometimes (Pumpkin is for either but Bunny is only for Nora because she hops like a bunny when she runs).

5. Yes I know I'm tall but I like wearing heels and tall shoes.

6. I love TV marathons and have gotten hooked on a couple good shows from them (Example #1 = The Closer.)

7. The Wire is the best show out there and I can't believe it wasn't nominated for any Emmys, again. Yes it's on Showtime - I wait for it to come out on DVD and Netflix it.

8. I like Netflix but sometimes I take a month or two break from it to get a breather. I stopped May 10 and just picked up again last Friday.

9. I like asking for God to speak, and hearing His voice. I always feel reassured, calm, centered again. He speaks words that are so true and God.

10. I want to read the Bible more bc I know it makes such a difference in my life and I need some help being accountable to that goal.

David Beckham's first American game

This wkend I also happened to turn the TV on, and to ESPN somehow, right before the premiere of David Beckham in America on the LA Galaxy team. I watched some of an interview with Beckham that was on before the game, curious to hear him speak as I've seen tons of pictures about him but not much of him talking. His accent is different - no, not just English - but different than expected. Not meaning to offend but it doesn't sound like a polished accent but more of a rough neighborhood accent. Even as I am aware there are many accents from England, I confess my American assumption that Beckham would sound like a Hollywood British actor.

Sometimes I go to a bookstore and just sit and read for a few hours. I sometimes read an entire novel, sometimes only parts. Once at Border's I read the first half of Beckham's autobiography and found it very interesting. He started playing for Manchester United when he was 14 (and in their youth league, I think it's called, at 11). I can't imagine someone that young in professional sports. Imagine a 14yr old in the NBA? Or playing professional baseball?

So anyway I was intrigued by the interview and kept the channel on for the game. The stadium was sold out, celebrities in attendance, and you could see the energy in the crowd, wearing brand new Galaxy jerseys. And wow, that LA Galaxy manager/owner - did he get a MBA in Marketing? Bc I was feeling that sell from way out here on my couch. "This morning when America woke up and thought of soccer, they thought of LA Galaxy and that's because of David Beckham." He said it twice, people.

David had a hurt ankle and only came on to the field for the last fifteen or so minutes. But the crowd cheered and roared, and it was exciting to watch. I do hope Beckham coming to America will pump up excitement for soccer. ESPN's commercials for the women's USA soccer team against Japan in San Jose next wkend were exciting - anyone want to go with me?

Harry Potter - read it?

Carla and I went to the Emeryville Border's on Friday night at the ridiculously late hour of 11pm (hey, I was tired that wk!) to people-watch, hang out, and oh yeah buy the new Harry Potter book. The seventh, the last, Harry Potter book. Heard about it?

We finally got it around 1:20am and headed out. In the waiting time, it was fun to sip drinks and get a chance to chat with Carla and catch up on life stories. She's a good person to have to fill down-time with :) Too bad she's moving to Santa Cruz soon but maybe she'll be back someday.

So not reading nonstop but I finished the book last night. I liked it and as I won't give away any information, I can say that I really enjoyed the plot and I liked the ending. There were things I still didn't quite understand but I went with it. I'm also not a HP expert and it was late last night when I finished so I might be able to "get it" more when someone explains it to me, in the daylight hours.

It was my favorite book of all seven. Though written for kids, it felt like more of an mature novel... well, it actually felt like a novel, not just a children's story. I respect J.K. Rowling's writing more and more over the years. I like how she adds difficult emotions and sadness into the character's lives - everything doesn't go peachy keen and the people respond with emotions that match the circumstances.

Any one else read it? Thoughts?

Morning Earthquake ( Filed under "Only adding to tiredness")

Did anyone else feel the Oakland earthquake this morning? I woke up around 4:45am to shaking and I instantly clutched my bed, positioned near a big window, waiting and trying to decide how long it would last. Should I get out of bed? Is the window going to shatter in my face? Is this the Big One? It ended about 15 seconds later so I woke up when it was almost over (CNN says it lasted 50 seconds). Whew, now that's an alarm! It took me awhile to fall asleep again, my body was alert and heart racing.

These past few weeks I've been sleep-derived due to being really really tired but really really unable to make myself go to bed early. Work dynamics are causing stress and I feel a bit exhausted about it all. I have little leftover to give. I feel emotionally out of it, scatterbrained, absentminded and keep forgetting things. Last night I came home from the gym and then an unwise decision to try and find a Walgreens and fill a new prescription which always takes an hour, and just crashed in my gym clothes on my bed. I woke up an hour later and groggily came out to the living room. My roommate asked a simple question clearly and I had her repeat it three times because I couldn't understand. I always think I'm awake about ten minutes before I actually am. I'll wake up to the phone ringing, answer it, and awhile in, I go, "Wait, what are we talking about?"

I'm going to a Border's tonight with some ppl to watch the cultural phenomenon known as The Last Release of the Last Harry Potter book Ever. The book is released at midnight so I'm thinking, not an early night. I'll prob go gome and nap first but that always screws my sleep cycle up. I kinda wish I could just go home and sleep at 9pm...

Airplane and Dogfighting

Brazil, I'm sorry to hear about the airplane crash. I heard a pilot call into CNN and say that the runway had just been reopened and pavement ridges that helped rain drain from the runway hadn't been put in yet. It was probably very slick and the pilot couldn't brake. The news today said he tried to take off again when he realized the plan wasn't stopping. He also said that buildings and gas stations in South America were often right next to the runways, creating no room for error.

I'm sorry.

On a different note, I am glad to hear about Michael Vick's indictment. He's looking pretty guilty for a pretty ruthless crime: personally participating in the death of eight dogs. Oh, and being indicted on a conspiracy count alleging he and three associates bought and sponsored dogs in an animal fighting venture and traveled across state lines to participate in illegal activity, including gambling. But personally killing eight dogs (by hanging, drowning, electrocution, and slamming them to the ground). I apologize for that graphic description but I don't want to shy away from specifically saying how people who breed and train dogs to fight and kill, treat the dogs who don't "win." It doesn't matter how talented Vick is on the field, this is completely unacceptable and horrific. And unfortunately just the tip of the iceberg of illegal dogfighting. If a jury proves him to be guilty, we must punish him and his associates strongly.

Weather

Hmmm.. maybe weather is so interesting to me because I grew up in San Diego and any forecast besides "warm and sunny" is a fascinating, strange thing for me.

"Wow, there's something besides a clear sky and wearing shorts in December!"

Foggy fog fog

I know some people write entire blogs on food, cooking, and their favorite menus. I could write a blog entirely on the weather and traffic. Yes, it consumes that much of my mind. I meditate on them and attach deep symbolic meanings and life lessons from cars staying in their lanes and whether the sun is out. Half kidding.

Traffic yesterday and today was yucky and slooowwww. I think because of the faint drizzles of rain and the surprising fogginess.

But sometimes the fog is just so beautiful. Driving westbound across the top deck of the Bay Bridge this morning, the fog wrapped up San Francisco in a whispering bear hug. It lay there, still but moving, present yet exquisite and different today because the sun was there behind it. Not above it, behind it, like the middle and west end of the city was sunny and we drivers could almost see it but not quite. It felt like the sun was a toddler playing hide and seek, tucked deep into the hallway corner, giggling but promising a warm afternoon. "I'm coming out later..." It just wanted to play first.

It reminded me of all the foggy days living in SF. To be honest, I loved them. I remember waking up in my far far outer Richmond apt, on Geary and almost the ocean, to fog creeping gently outside the window and the bus line's polite voice. "38 Geary, Limited." I loved living on a busy bus line, with people lined up waiting outside my door. I loved hearing the neverending voice announcing which bus had just arrived. I loved the background noise, and knowing people were present. Out in the SF boonies, I felt safer on the big busy street where people gathered even though the nearby Walgreens, park edges, and Veterans Hospital brought out interesting characters.

I felt so grown-up, dressed in my black peacoat, hurrying down my stairs to catch the 38L and make my way downtown. It was my first job post IV-staff and I was an Executive Assistant at a well-known investment banking firm. I had just bought my first iPod with my new riches (ha ha, not really) and I would hope for a corner seat to pop my earphones in and listen to an Audible audiobook or a playlist. The 38L took 45 minutes to make the almost 7mile journey all the across San Francisco while the 38EX took a mere 25 minutes, making no stops after 25th and Geary, zipping full speed to the financial district. And all the time, was fog and gray, covering the buildings and air.

I used to sit in my enormous red chair in my living room, buried in its high arms, and just stare at the fog, drifting down Geary. I would stare at the old red firehouse right across the street, which was always a helpful landmark when giving directions, and watch the fireman wash the trucks in the fog. I would watch the dogwalkers, teenagers arriving home from school, the nurses off at 5am just trying to get home, the homeless trying to get warm in an apt building's doorway, the people of SF.

Though difficult to get to (even friends living in SF sometimes complained about having to drive all the way out to my place), I loved the location. I would brag that in three directions, you could walk straight into a park after only a few blocks (south, Golden Gate Park; north, the Presidio, golf course, and museum; west, Sutro Park modeled after the French parks). After work, I would often walk down to Sutro Park to look out over the ocean and GG Park and Ocean Beach, a view all the way to Daly City and even a bit of Pacifica. It did feel like I was in Europe in that park. I would walk up to the Presidio, only 1.5 blocks up, through the golf course, careful not to interrupt anyone's swing, and sit in front of the GG Bridge. Or I would walk down the steep hill to GG Park and around one of my favorite lakes in the park with its wooden bridge, by the buffalo and horses. I loved living in the city but surrounded by parks and nature. I miss that sometimes.

Thanks God for all the places I've gotten to live in over the years, all the experiences. You have been good to me.

Isabel Archer

One of my favorite heroines, from Henry James' The Portrait of a Lady, is Isabel Archer. She's intelligent, has a mind of her own, loves to explore and learn, and asks questions. (And she's actually a heroine I would want to be, unlike doomed Lily Bart in Edith Wharton's House of Mirth). Not the best summary but that's the best I can do, having only started to reread it recently. I'm on page 72.

Usually I read quickly (I read Running with Scissors yesterday in four hours) but I can only read about 20 pages of James at a time. Partly that is due to his writing in the late 19th century and the much more well-rounded vocabulary even ordinary citizens seemed to have then. But also his writing is primarily characters' dialogue, quote after quote; the plot only seems to be the backdrop for their conversations, witty comments and play on words. My favorite short story is his "The Beast in the Jungle" where almost nothing happens except for the two main characters talking (that is the plot twist, sorry to ruin it for you!). Sometimes that's how life seems to me, all about relationships and our conversations while the actual facts of our lives fade into the background of importance.

Some of my favorite quotes from this novel, post-it tagged from my college days:

1. Mr. Touchett: "But for me there are only two classes: the people I trust, and the people I don't. Of those two, dear Isabel, you belong to the first."
"I am much obliged to you," said the young girl, quickly. Her way of taking compliments seemed sometimes rather dry; she got rid of them as rapidly as possible. But as regards this, she was sometimes misjudged; she was thought insensible to them, whereas in fact she was simply unwilling to show how infinitely they pleased her. To show that was to show too much.

2. "He's a fine fellow," said Mr. Touchett, "but I don't recommend you to fall in love with him."
"I shall not do it then. I shall never fall in love but on your recommendation." Isabel

3. "I shall always tell you," her aunt answered, "whenever I see you taking what seems to be too much liberty."
"Pray do: but I don't say I shall always think your remonstrance just." Isabel
"Very likely not. You are too fond of your liberty."
"Yes, I think I am very fond of it. But I always want to know the things one shouldn't do."
"So as to do them?" asked her aunt.
"So as to choose," said Isabel.

4. "Only don't keep on refusing for the sake of refusing. It's a pleasant exercise of power; but accepting is after all an exercise of power as well." Madame Merle

I have the last quote memorized and think of it often in my daily life. How saying "yes" and "ok" and letting people into your life, not just "no" and "I don't need you," is also a display of power. Displaying I know what I want, I feel secure in saying so and accepting, I feel ok letting it be known. And sometimes I remember in time to turn my "no..." into an "ok, yes, thank you." Sometimes.

Life Maintenance

I've been in what I call a "life maintenance" stage lately. In the last six weeks, I've:

- gotten emergency water for my apt and my car
- bought Norton (grrr.. just successfully returned that useless sucker - has anyone had a good experience with it?) and SpyNoMore (which did work)
- researched the best way to back up my computer files, still undecided
- went to the dentist
- got glasses from Costco
- went to the DMV, got my picture taken and my license renewed
- drove to Palo Alto to get another iPod battery after it really really died (this one was free thankfully)
- finally organized my personal HR files for my job which I started last August
- bought luggage
- bought printer ink
- got my cat Mitch microchipped (in case he gets lost, in preparation for my move into my church neighborhood where he might get out easier. Nora's microchipped).
- got my credit history from the three agencies.

Just one of those stages. I kinda want to write a will. Is that morbid?

I guess I'm an adult now....

So true

"If you don't consciously insert tone into an email, a kind of universal default tone won't automatically be conveyed. Instead, the message written without regard to tone becomes a blank screen onto which the reader projects his own fears, prejudices and anxieties."

- "Send: The Essential Guide to Email for Office and Home" by David Shipley and Will Schwalbe

So You Think You Can Dance

I don't usually like reality performance shows (see American Idol) but I love So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD). In watching this clip www.rickey.org/?p=4466 three times in a row, I realize I love watching such creative expression. Their dance really does capture to me what an argument would look like if we were all awesome dancers. And a good song doesn't hurt. "It's too late to apologize..."

The guy Danny is sooo good - his jumps and lines are awesome. And Anya is normally a ballroom dancer but she has this fluidity in this piece. I never took dance lessons and I dance alright enough but I think I'm drawn more to specific creative talent that I lack. Like music also - I can't keep a beat or play anything so I love listening to talented piano players.

I got hooked on this show last season while staying at a friend's house in Hawaii. I came back and kept watching. I liked it so much I wanted to buy tickets for the tour but no friendly soul wanted to join me. I'm not sure if I like the contestants enough yet this year to want to go but maybe...

Check your credit history every year!

Check your credit history today at www.annualcreditreport.com*. I'm sure this is common knowledge that this is free and available but consider this your daily advice for life maintenance :)

It's free once a year to get your credit report from the three agencies Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion. It takes less than ten minutes and can save you hours of hassles later.

Have I mentioned that I've had someone make fraudalent charges on a credit card I didn't even know I had? Mailed to an address I lived at in college five years earlier? Yeah, it was *super* fun to get the scary collections agent call and deal with that for months.


*This website seems to be the straight nonprofit site. Once you get onto each of the agencies sites, they will try to sell you everything and the kitchen sink. Ignore as desired (though knowing your credit score every now and again is helpful) and just get to the free credit report.

Ah, sometimes I remember why I love(d) IV

Last night I went to the Bay Urban Project Open House in Oakland and ate a yummy dinner, talked with college students in the midst of an intense summer project, heard students share their ethnic testimonies in spoken word form, and listened to my friend and former mentor Pauline Chen Fong speak passionately about "the cloud of witnesses" that have gone before us in acting out God's justice for the world and His people.

Ah, nights like that it all comes back to me - why I loved IV as a student, why I eagerly went on staff, how I loved seeing students change, how I loved working with students who wanted to change, how those precious four years where people are open and their hearts and minds are soft are so much fun and inspiring to work with, how much I loved God's call to staff for me and how much there was in it for me too.

(I never did OakUP or BAyUP but I did experience an influential freshman two-week plunge in Rockridge/Oakland back in 1997. A few memorable experiences include working at Habitat for Humanity, being scared to death of doing evangelism on BART but doing it anyway and having great discussions with people, and engaged in my first deep ah-ha discussion/process about race and me being white. I had talked a lot about race and ethnicity with friends my first college year including protesting against Prop 209 at the Campanile but I hadn't stopped and considered my own race and what that meant for me.)

Ben C. "dared" me earlier to write about people who have influenced me. As I sat last night in the pew listening to Pauline talk, I kept smiling as I thought about how much she has influenced me. It feels a bit strange to write so admiringly about a current person but when I think about who has affected and helped me in my journey, she comes up a lot. In so many direct conversations and words, but also in just watching her be the strong single woman staffworker when I was a student, and now the strong but tired mother of two IV staff who has increasingly taken on more leadership in IV. She helped me during some pretty rough times when I was on staff and I am eternally grateful to her. There are so many stories I could tell about her but let me summarize. If I am a person of prayer, it has a lot to do with Pauline. If I am a person that loves the world and missions, it has been nurtured by her. If I am a person who is ok with my own ethnicity, it is has been helped by her intentional and thoughtful words to me about developing my own white identity and also by walking with her in her Taiwanese-American identity. If I am someone who looks thoughtfully and asks the hard questions of myself and others, it is definitely because of Pauline's presence in my life. If I am at all someone who looks out to mentor others and live with compassion and generosity and be real with her own struggles, it has been modeled after her. Pauline, thank you.

I have had the great privilige of being taught and mentored by, and worked with, some of the most humble, inspiring, real, funny, in love with Jesus, risky, brave, passionate, willing to walk against the stream's flow, caring people during my time in InterVarsity, esp staff. Some people I worked with mainly in groups and have had only a few deeply memorable conversations with here and there but they were incredibly inspiring and are still very welcoming when I run into them now (Phil and Leslie Bowling-Dyer to name a few). Some people were peers and friends and I learned and received so much from walking with them (Christie de Leon, Mark Afram).

I think the only person that comes second to Pauline in shaping me from IV has been Jon Paris. He led our overall small group as staff when I was a bright-eyed freshman and I later got to work alongside him as staff in San Francisco. He influenced a lot of people including me but when I got the chance to live with him and his wife in SF, his influence on me really kicked up a notch. He really asked caring but hard questions and got me to rethink a lot of things from car ownership to dating to financial stewardship. He didn't just sympathize when fundraising was hard, he took action and got in the trenches with me. There's a lot more but let me just say, thanks Jon. And yes, I still have a book of yours! sorry :)

Thanks, faithful people of IV. It has sometimes been really tough, disappointing, hurtful, and painful and I've wanted nothing more to do with any of y'all! Then I go to something like last night and I remember the good stuff too. God, thanks for bringing me into that group and for leading me always.

Random Thoughts

1. I watched some of the 2007 World Series of Pop Culture on VH1 last night. A really fun show, like Jeopardy but for pop culture which as I luv Jeopardy and am addicted to pop culture, is a perfect blend of entertainment for me. One of the tie-breaker questions was: Hattie McDaniel won for Best Supporting Actress in 1940 (can you name the movie?) as the first African-American to win an Oscar. Who are the ten other African-Americans to win Oscars in the leading actor roles (actor, actress, supp. actor, supp actress) not counting Honorary Oscars? I knew 7 or 8 but the two contestants got down to the very last one. The guy who won knew all 10. How many do you know? Hint: Most are in the last 10 years.

2. I've been eating peanut butter and jam sandwiches for lunch lately. They're yummy, simple, filling, and nutritious enough for me.

3. My cat Nora likes to play with her (fake furry) mice and in the bathtub, sometimes at the same time. This morning as my cats did the normal routine of following me everywhere including the bathroom, Nora jumped into the bathub but this time she also carried a mouse in her mouth with her and started playing around energetically in the tub. Somewhat circular play, if you can imagine. It causes a lot of noise with the bell-ed mouse and cat claws. When I went into the kitchen I could still hear her chasing the mouse around then pausing to grasp it between her paws and lovingly clean its "fur." I think it's both her prey and her baby doll. She is so much fun :)

4. A friend Fred from church is currently leading a summer project for InterVarsity students in Cambodia. It's called Global Urban Trek and they live in the poorest areas and slums and really rough it. He just sent out an email with his journal entries and it's really thought-provoking. Too long to recopy here but wanted to give a prayer shout-out to Fred and the team.

Platinum Brides indeed

This past wkend my mom and I were watching the WE channel (Women's Entertainment) which ok, really, what do you think Women's Entertainment is, TV executives? I bet you ten bucks it's not what I think it is. Our definitions may vary a smidge or two. But that's another topic for another day...

Anyways, they had a marathon of two shows on Sunday - Bridezillas and Platinum Brides. I think because 7-7-07 was a popular wedding day, they decided to make it a wedding themed weekend. I've never seen either show before though I've heard a lot about Bridezillas, how crazy the women are and perfectionistic and darn well intent on their day being exactly the way they want.

In the few episodes I saw, I did see some brides with a spoiled attitude but I also saw some wacked-out, mean, unhelpful families. The brides just seemed really stressed and trying to coordinate spacy grooms, critical mothers, caterers that canceled at the last minute, and such. It felt like one common denominator for the brides on Bridezilla was that they didn't have that much money and were trying to pull together a dream wedding in a backyard or with half a cake or something. Key observation: there was no hired wedding coordinator to oversee all the logisitics and problems, and all of that fell on the bride.

Jump to Platinum Bride, which is the exact opposite show. How money, lots of money, makes life to be a walk on easy street. My jaw kept dropping watching this show. The show is like the girls from MTV's show Sweet Sixteen grew up and got married with thousands and thousands of dollars. I didn't know normal people spent this much on weddings. Stars, celebrities, ok but normal people? I guess the question is what's your idea of normal.

For one couple who I guess was around 30-32 (the woman was an events planner, the guy a record company exec), it was crazzzy. The bride's parents were paying for everything and I kept turning my mom and saying, "I guess you're glad I'm not expecting that." My favorite quote was the bride saying, "We started with a budget of $300K but threw that out the window right away!" Omg. $300K was the starting number but it couldn't even contain the first draft of your plans?! I estimate it cost $500-600K. Sure, their wedding looked cool but it made me nauseous to watch all that money spent on one event. And yes, they had an excellent wedding coordinator with a few assistants himself.

So when exactly did all of this happen? When did weddings become the billion dollar industry it is, with women buying into it all? Isn't there anyone out there saying, "No, this is ridiculous. Crazy. I'm not treating my wedding day as the day to spend my parents' savings or my own." As I'm not engaged or even dating seriously, I know it's hard for me have a complete opinion on this and I'm not against "modest" $15-20K weddings (which I know isn't a lot in wedding-world but still seems like a huge amount to me for a wedding) but I guess the whole thing makes me feel sad about the shopping-saturated, spoiled-princess-mentality culture we live in.

I think the WE channel would like me to laugh and criticize the Bridezilla brides for their frantic stress and outbursts, but envy the Platinum Brides with their platinum gold cards. But I feel a bit sad for both and can't help but think that the PlatBrides' calm and peace has more to do with their money, which pays for among other things a well-compensated wedding coordinator who handles all the crap, than with a deeper sense of love they feel for their groom.*


*And I do know that I will 100% have a wedding coordinator for my wedding even if it's my awesome friend Dar who is superwoman and can do anything including sew her own wedding dress and coordinate her own wedding to the 100th detail. People really underestimate the importance of logistics and having someone to manage it all. But I do not! :)

Tan

I'm back and more tan than before :)

I'll write more later but I had a good time, a really good time, with family in San Diego. We did fun stuff and everyone enjoyed each other; no arguments which is always nice. These last few years for me has involved a lot of restructuring how our family interacts, at least where I'm affected, and it's nice sometimes to just enjoy the results of all those tough conversations and boundary-settings. This was one of those weeks.

Visiting SoCal, SD specifically, gives me so many thoughts. One quick ironic thought - I feel the need to think/journal/process less when I'm in SD (no blog or written journal entries from this last wk). Maybe it's bc I'm on vacation mode or maybe the sun just chills me out or I'm so busy doing activities. Maybe bc up here in Oakland I'm in "real life mode" or I live so intentionally and think through so many of my choices. Whatever the reason, it's nice to just "be" and not analyze stuff so much. I usually think/critique/review/process so much and it's a refreshing change sometimes to just go see the Shamu show after refilling the popcorn bucket and sipping my lemonade slushie in my Shamu drink bottle without a deep thought in my head.

Sometimes that's everything I need.

(*Addendum: maybe I still have a ton of thoughts and observations in SD but I don't write them out and they sit there marinating until I come back and bring them out to my blog-grill. Mmm, that's a yummy analogy...)

Off to San Diego...

Flying to San Diego this afternoon, after a full morning at work (including a quick jaunt to San Jose for a client mtg!). I'll be down in SoCal world for a week.

There are a million different things I'm doing this wk - it was hard to remember to pack everything ranging from laptop, gifts for my grandparents from Turkey and Greece, a dress for a wedding including jewelry, work clothes, three chargers, a bathing suit, workout clothes, and normal shorts and tank tops.

I'm looking forward to sun and playing and relaxing. I pray that family and all the different things don't become stressful, and that I'd come back chilled the heck out.