Tom Cruise parody video

Totally funny

Sorry, I don't know how to embed and I don't really care about learning it this morning...

So here's the video at Funnyordie.com.

Bucket o' thoughts

Ah, I didn't get the job I had been waiting to hear back from. I feel relieved actually. It didn't feel right to me. So, I'm still searching - keep sending me job postings, friends! God and I have been talking a lot about the job thing and He keeps encouraging me to have faith, to wait hopefully, even when I don't know all the answers. I'm on a theme of faith lately, last few months.

My computer died last week and had smoke coming out the back :( I'm currently borrowing my brother's old laptop (which has a broken left click button - you think it's not necessary but just try an hour without it). Today I reached my frustrating breaking point because I can't use my printer, the internet connection lasts approximately four seconds before dropping, I don't have any of my old files including my budget, and a stupid excel file wouldn't open in excel but only in gmail docs today, which wtf? I have no idea why. I feel like I'm in admin hell. Even though I'm not working, I have a lot of church stuff to do especially with the retreat this weekend. It's all really hard without my own computer. I finally in frustration downloaded my printer's driver into this computer so I could at least print and feel somewhat in control of my work.

I watched the Tom Cruise video today. Oddly, I don't think it's that weird. I actually think he comes off a little more normal than usual. Granted, I do think he's one of the creepiest people on this planet and I am unable to watch him in any movie anymore, maybe forever. He really really creeps me out that much. Why do I find pictures of him and video from his Oprah stint more disturbing than this video? I think because he sounds excited and enthusiastic and kinda leaves it in broad terms like that. Well yes, his frequent "SP" mentions and laughing to himself make me tilt my head like, Really?" but they make me feel sad for him more than anything. (Definitions of the Scientology terms he used are helpfully described here.) I think what bothers me the most about Scientology is, besides the thetan idea, their bullying and utter inability to allow others to say a critical word about them. That shows a deep problem imho. But in the video, Tom doesn't really mention the suing and the threatening Germany when it said Sc. is a cult and all that. He puts a more positive spin on it like "we need to fight the good fight." And you want to agree with him, like "Sure, whatever your cause is, go for it!" but then you remember that it's Scientology and disturbing and not uncultlike.

My cats are super cute. In case anyone needed an update.

I just read two good books from the library. One is called Con Ed about an older con man persuaded by life's events to do one last con. It was really good probably bc it was like a mystery to see how he was going to pull it off. And it was set in Silicon Valley and involved venture capitalists and Palo Alto and the whole dynamic of startups so that was all up my alley. It felt like a rambling novel from the 40's.

Another was an English light fiction (I detest the phrase chick-lit) called Love @ First Site about a 34yr old single woman who starts on a dating website. I liked her style and incorporating a new angle to the common story of a woman wanting to get married and have a family. The big thing that bothered me a lot (spoiler alert) was how the main character's sister handled her breast cancer diagnosis. She never told her two children, hiding the chemo, surgery, and everything from them. The parents told the kids that mommy was sick and had a blood problem. Then when kids at school teased the childre bc their mom was bald, the principal asked the parents if he could call a special assembly to tell the whole class that the mommy had cancer and it wasn't a subject to take lightly. And the two children still didn't know?! But all their friends did?? Horrible idea. The idea was to protect the kids and make their childhood as normal as possible but it's not. If your mom gets a serious illness, your childhood will change. They'l find out eventually and feel suspicious/cheated. I was really bothered by it and how no one questioned the parents on elaborately hiding the cancer from the kids. And it wasn't an over-the-top comedic plot either. But good book besides that.

I'm starting to hate this laptop. Besides needing to use a mouse because the left click button is broken, something is wrong with the keys where it doesn't pick up letters I've pressed and I have to go back contantly to refill in letters. Grrr. Spelling errors everywhere, uncontrollable. Gr.

The kitties are sleeping on the couch. Mitch is tucked in tight on the blanket in the corner, head hidden under my jacket. Nora is lying stomach-down by herself, one paw tucked under her. I went to pet her and she wen "mrorww." Ah, Nora :)

Sick

Sorry you're sick, Fred. Hope you get better soon.

Can I be a different person?

I felt surprise sadness today attending my married friends' baby shower (how do you write that to say that both people are your friends? it's not "a friend's baby shower" but is it "my friends' baby shower"? That sounds odd).

And yeah, some of the sadness was every person there was in a couple. The two women by themselves had husbands at home. Am I at that age already? I feel to young to be. The age where everyone is hitched. Plus the fact I was the only person there from the circle of friends I knew them from - our church in San Francisco. So basically it felt like I was meeting everyone there for the first or second (you know what I mean) time. I hadn't expected that.

I am sincerely happy for them because both Ruben and Lisa are really cool people and I would consider them close friends. Not bc we spend a lot of time together now but bc we once did. I consider them my closest friends from SF, and the easy companionship I felt with them, I haven't felt with a lot of other people. Or at least not as easily. I felt happy to buy a special present for them (books as a baby shower gift - the idea from my mom and I really like it), and to go to the craft store to buy special baby trinkets for the cupcakes I made for the shower. So I didn't lead up today feeling sad about how they're married and about to have a baby, and I'm not.

And I still don't think that's primarily where the sadness came from.

I miss their friendship. I hate how transient SF is and everyone came, and everyone left including me, and that brief moment of hanging out easily and common friendship is gone. Like college I guess but in college you knew the end was coming. SF has that same 4-5 yr span but it feels unexpected. R & L were close with me during some hard times in SF - even driving back tonight, I heard God during talking to Him about this sadness and He said at least I got their friendship during a time when I needed it most. True. I think surviving would have been a lot tougher without them.

I think I envy their easygoingness, and want to be that kind of person. I think that's where the sadness is mainly from, besides feeling like I'm visiting old past friendships instead of live active ones. I do think they are both more "go with the flow" than I am but I also wonder how much I transfer my imagination onto who I think they are. I want to be a different person, less intense, less anxious, less angry and critical and frustrated, less worried, less reliving past wounds and mistakes, and I see that kind of person I am striving to be in them. Not that they're not faultless. I guess I just like their faults more than I like my own.

I want more peace and contentment with my life no matter what situation I'm in - I really think that's the crux of what's bothering me. But I can't get out of my own skin. I can't leave this person behind. Can I trade, God? Can I be a different person?

I'm reminded of my own post awhile back about how everyone envies and is envied. Just as you're staring longingly at the person next to you's body/face/character/gifts/money/marriage/children, someone is staring and envying something about you.

But it doesn't always feel like that, does it?

SF SketchFest

I'm bummed I haven't heard of SF SketchFest before. I totally would have gone. It's happening this week but not sure I'll be able to make any of the shows. This Sunday at 2pm (but sold-out), they're having a panel of actors from the TV show Freaks and Geeks including most of the main cast. Wow, that's a cool thing. And Kids in the Hall there? Shooooot. Ok, anyone able to come to a last minute show with me tomorrow night?

I love comedy and improv and this looks to be the best of the best.

www.sfsketchfest.com

SF Main Library renovation

The Main Library in SF recently unveiled a new renovation. Yey! More books, more technology (including a nifty self-return machine that sorts books into carts and can be viewed by patrons - I imagine it to being the library version of a Charlie and the Chocoloate Factory behind-the-scenes splendid machine), more computers for internet use, and an easier to navigate layout.

A happy story for the day! Taxpayers voted for money to go somewhere, it went there, and accomplished its goal. One success, ten million more to go.

I checked out the Alameda Library yesterday, relatively new as it opened in Nov 2006. Just need proof of CA residency to get a card. It was pretty cool but felt like a research or university library, not one for the public. Not many displays or easy to find fiction section. But the VHS/DVD's available were pretty big. Nice couches by windows. It didn't seem to have a parking lot which I thought was odd. Just some street parking spots designated 2 hr for the library use.

Warrant for cell and car

Yey, the tiger "victims"' cell and car now have a warrant on them and can be legally checked by the police for evidence. If there are pictures or pot or slingshot stuff, they can be used as evidence that the guys taunted the tiger.

Ths pics could have been erased but at least getting a warrant is better than not having one at all, which is what it was looking like.

I think we need a dose of the Onion today

Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Could

CHICAGO—Thirty-four-year-old associate sales representative Ben Anderson, who got here as fast as he possibly could, is really, really sorry he's late. "What did I miss?" asked Anderson, who again, is so sorry, but the bus—well, it's a long story. "My girlfriend and the dog—and now I'm holding everything up. Sorry. Sorry." Anderson, who added that he's honestly very sorry, has asked that everyone just ignore him and carry on while he gets himself settled.

ha ha

Conspiracy Theorist Has Elaborate Explanation For Why He's Single

Child Walks Out On Toy Non-Proliferation Talks

Daughter Thinks It's Time To Have Sex Talk With Parents

Partygoers Mocked By Catering Staff

Dorm RA 'Not Like The Other Dorm RAs,' Says Dorm RA

Freshman Psych Student Diagnoses Roommate With Bipolar Disorder ha ha, totally

Run OrangeCat run!

This morning I got up at the crack of dawn (7:30am) in 10 degree weather (heavy fog and cold) to attempt to run a marathon (3 miles) at Lake Merritt with Sarah. I was nervous bc my old goal was to run the lake but I haven't been able to. Depending on how you measure/run it, it's either 3 miles or 3.5 miles. We did the shorter one today.

I knew I couldn't do the whole thing but I did as much as I could. I really tried to push myself. Sarah thinks I did about 2 or a little over 2 miles, which yey. Wow, that was far. My lungs kinda hurt. Most of the time my pace was like a 12 minute mile or slower but it was running so it counts. In the end of what I could do, I sprinted to the pillars. Something leftover from soccer and field hockey days - to sprint the last section.

We ended up talking about whether we like running or sports or gyms, and whether we played team sports when we were younger. I really have a hard time running non-gym for any length. I get so bored even with an iPod (not with me today) especially when it's around the lake which I've memorized to the pebble. I wonder if I could ever make it around out of sheer boredom. Plus I have to concentrate on my breathing bc otherwise my mind wanders and my breathing gets all out of sync and I am able to run even less. So yeah, concentrating on breathing = hecka boring. Maybe I need to record me or someone saying inspirational sayings like "you can do it, you're almost there" and insert them in between songs on my iPod. Or if I was running with someone that talked the whole time and I could be pleasantly distracted by their stories.

Maybe to run a 5K this year? If it was somewhere new and not the Lake, I might be able to do it. But first, to conquer the darned Lake!!

Dellums improving?

In his State of the City address last night, Oakland Mayor Ron Dellums seemed to want to start addressing the crime problem in Oakland. He said he would increase cops from 730 to 803. Yey... right? But reading more, it looks like Oakland voters approved a measure FOUR years ago to increase the police force to 803. It's only happening now? Why the wait? Is Dellums against more police for some reason? Seriously, I'm asking. The article implies that he thinks it's too hard to hire police in this city. Well, maybe increasing their work hours to 12 doesn't help.

And at 803, we're only 2/3 of the national standard. Great. And it's not at all like we're in a city with a high crime rate... oh, wait, yes we are. Hmmm.

I'm really not liking this guy.

Alcatraz at night

Anyone want to go see Alcatraz at night? It looks like $41.50 online price for adults. I've heard their night tour is fun and shows you different things than the day tour.

Bullet

This happened only a few blocks from where I used to live in North Oakland, in the "safe" part of Oakland on Piedmont Avenue where yuppies shop and dine and the ice cream shop Fenton's stands and the indie movie theater is. The attempted robbery did happen on the corner of MacArthur and Piedmont, in an area not as yuppie-fied.

I'm really sorry to hear about the boy shot while he was at piano pratice :(

A cautionary money tale

"A Cautionary Money Tale" from SF Chronicle

I especially connect with this quote from the article:

I had always thought people who squirreled away money were greedy. But after my encounter with Sandra, I figured out that saving money is nothing to be ashamed of — in fact, it's a matter of survival. I also carry a roll of dental floss with me at all times.

Living dangerously

You’re heard it said that the safest place to be is in the center of God’s will. I am sure that this promise was well intended, but it is neither true nor innocuous. When we believe that God’s purpose, intention, or promise is that we will be safe from harm, we are utterly disconnected from the movement and power of God. If those who prepare for leadership are looking for the safe place, who will lead the church into the dangerous places? ... The truth of the matter is that the center of God’s will is not a safe place but the most dangerous place in the world! God fears nothing and no one! God moves with intentionality and power. To live outside of God’s will puts us in danger; to live inside His will makes us dangerous.

Erwin Macmanus
An Unstoppable Force

Today feels like Wednesday

I keep thinking today is Wednesday. It doesn't feel like a Thursday. And earlier this wk, I really felt like Tuesday was a Wednesday. Maybe it's a repeat Wed week for me.

It got me thinking - what does each day "feel" like? Monday and Tuesday feel light while Thursday and Friday seem heavy, packed. Even if M and Tu are busy, they don't feel as weighted down as Th and F feel when they're busy. And Wednesday just feels like the middle, headed toward heavy.

I also think numbers have "feels" to them, too. But then, you all know my weird obsession with numbers :)

How do you experience the days of the week?

A few first impressions of living in the 'hood

Today I drove past two guys walking their small dog. The dog's "leash" was a strip of yellow police CAUTION tape. The dog trotted along.

Yesterday I left someone's house after watching the awesome (bc San Diego won) Chargers/Titans playoff football game. I looked to my left and saw a crowd of people on the corner with a few police officers standing there, talking to them. Two police cruisers were double-parked. As I watched, the conversation became agitated and the police brisquely turned a young guy around and handcuffed him. A woman came up and held onto the boy's shoulders. I wasn't sure if she was giving him advice or pleading with police to uncuff him or asking him what happened. They took him into the police car. I got into my car and drove away.

A church friend driving in her car got totaled by a hit-and-run on Friday on International Blvd. She's kinda ok but going to a physical therapist to check everything out. The driver was caught by police but didn't have insurance.

There aren't many blue mail boxes - for a residential area.

There is a lot of trash around. And it feels like more dirt, too.

I like living so close to the gym. No freeway needed.

At night, I drive to friends' places that live only a block or two away.

I like my little cottage, like having my own space but connected to the house. I like being on my own but having community.

Updates!

First, a touching article about a personal story of someone whose mom survived breat cancer. Not the whole story but a snippet of daily life after surviving. My mom's sister passed away from breast cancer and my mom's best friend is a survivor so it's very personal for her, and for me.

I resigned from my recruiter job last week. It's been building up but still happened quicker than I expected. Tense the first day but also felt glad and relieved, a good move. For the first time in my life, I don't need to rush out and get another job finance-wise. I'm taking a short break though I'm talking to people about next positions and actually interviewing tomorrow for something that could be a good fit. Ideally I would start work in early to mid-February.

I'm still angry about the tiger incident that happened in SF. As more details come out about the empty vodka bottle in the car and the survivors making a pact in the ambulance to not talk, my anger remains.

I started my Development Director position (only 10 hours) at church and I'm enjoying it. A bit all over the place but after today, I feel like I'm helping make a difference. So I'm not unemployed just underemployed. Hee hee.

I started reading A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius which was a Nobel Prize Finalist for Literature. Good, a bit much with the cute/ironic/"awesome" talk but you know the author intended it to be that way. I like it though I find myself breezing past some of the paragraphs. Started it last night and I'm one third done.

Nora is being cat-crazy and running around my place, meowing frantically for no real reason. Mitch is half watching her and half running around after her. Cats!

Two of my fave things combined

Today I'm somehow on a Neil Patrick Harris kick. I watched the Doogie Howser pilot on Hulu (really good site - when I closed the site and reopened it later, it remembered where I was in watching the pilot and started automatically) and am now youtubing him. Here the cast of How I Met Your Mother is on a talk show and Neil (Patrick?) and Jason Segel sing/act out a Les Mis song. Awesome.

And I was musing this past week on my fave shows of all time. In order are:

1) The Wire (HBO)
2) Arrested Development (Fox)
3) Friday Night Lights (NBC)
4) How I Met Your Mother (CBS)

Other Honorable mentions are Gilmore Girls, the first three seasons of Alias (only), So You Think You Can Dance, Law and Order: SVU, Golden Girls, and Friends (because it's just such a classic).