Bucket o' thoughts

Ah, I didn't get the job I had been waiting to hear back from. I feel relieved actually. It didn't feel right to me. So, I'm still searching - keep sending me job postings, friends! God and I have been talking a lot about the job thing and He keeps encouraging me to have faith, to wait hopefully, even when I don't know all the answers. I'm on a theme of faith lately, last few months.

My computer died last week and had smoke coming out the back :( I'm currently borrowing my brother's old laptop (which has a broken left click button - you think it's not necessary but just try an hour without it). Today I reached my frustrating breaking point because I can't use my printer, the internet connection lasts approximately four seconds before dropping, I don't have any of my old files including my budget, and a stupid excel file wouldn't open in excel but only in gmail docs today, which wtf? I have no idea why. I feel like I'm in admin hell. Even though I'm not working, I have a lot of church stuff to do especially with the retreat this weekend. It's all really hard without my own computer. I finally in frustration downloaded my printer's driver into this computer so I could at least print and feel somewhat in control of my work.

I watched the Tom Cruise video today. Oddly, I don't think it's that weird. I actually think he comes off a little more normal than usual. Granted, I do think he's one of the creepiest people on this planet and I am unable to watch him in any movie anymore, maybe forever. He really really creeps me out that much. Why do I find pictures of him and video from his Oprah stint more disturbing than this video? I think because he sounds excited and enthusiastic and kinda leaves it in broad terms like that. Well yes, his frequent "SP" mentions and laughing to himself make me tilt my head like, Really?" but they make me feel sad for him more than anything. (Definitions of the Scientology terms he used are helpfully described here.) I think what bothers me the most about Scientology is, besides the thetan idea, their bullying and utter inability to allow others to say a critical word about them. That shows a deep problem imho. But in the video, Tom doesn't really mention the suing and the threatening Germany when it said Sc. is a cult and all that. He puts a more positive spin on it like "we need to fight the good fight." And you want to agree with him, like "Sure, whatever your cause is, go for it!" but then you remember that it's Scientology and disturbing and not uncultlike.

My cats are super cute. In case anyone needed an update.

I just read two good books from the library. One is called Con Ed about an older con man persuaded by life's events to do one last con. It was really good probably bc it was like a mystery to see how he was going to pull it off. And it was set in Silicon Valley and involved venture capitalists and Palo Alto and the whole dynamic of startups so that was all up my alley. It felt like a rambling novel from the 40's.

Another was an English light fiction (I detest the phrase chick-lit) called Love @ First Site about a 34yr old single woman who starts on a dating website. I liked her style and incorporating a new angle to the common story of a woman wanting to get married and have a family. The big thing that bothered me a lot (spoiler alert) was how the main character's sister handled her breast cancer diagnosis. She never told her two children, hiding the chemo, surgery, and everything from them. The parents told the kids that mommy was sick and had a blood problem. Then when kids at school teased the childre bc their mom was bald, the principal asked the parents if he could call a special assembly to tell the whole class that the mommy had cancer and it wasn't a subject to take lightly. And the two children still didn't know?! But all their friends did?? Horrible idea. The idea was to protect the kids and make their childhood as normal as possible but it's not. If your mom gets a serious illness, your childhood will change. They'l find out eventually and feel suspicious/cheated. I was really bothered by it and how no one questioned the parents on elaborately hiding the cancer from the kids. And it wasn't an over-the-top comedic plot either. But good book besides that.

I'm starting to hate this laptop. Besides needing to use a mouse because the left click button is broken, something is wrong with the keys where it doesn't pick up letters I've pressed and I have to go back contantly to refill in letters. Grrr. Spelling errors everywhere, uncontrollable. Gr.

The kitties are sleeping on the couch. Mitch is tucked in tight on the blanket in the corner, head hidden under my jacket. Nora is lying stomach-down by herself, one paw tucked under her. I went to pet her and she wen "mrorww." Ah, Nora :)