Oh Kron4

Oh Kron 4, why won't you report on traffic more in the morning? I think we would all love 50% of your newscast to be a traffic report. And not just GG Bridge which for some reason you LOVE to report on. Every time you do a traffic report, you show video of GG and report on the Marin drive and talk for a bit. Yet you don't talk about the Bay Bridge in every traffic report. ??? Which do you think is a major commute point? Not to diss the north drivers because I know their commute into SF is horrendous too but c'mon, BB is the hotspot. Could just increase traffic reports in general? Not less GG but more Bay Bridge and everything. I really don't want constant weather reports or the 7-day forecast every ten minutes. Yes, it's raining and it will be raining off and on. That's all the weather news I need at 8am in the morning when I am LEAVING for work on the FREEWAY. Detailed weather news belong at 5pm and at 11pm. Less national news - I just want traffic news. I have three different options for my morning commute and I desperately need an up-to-date report so I can know which way to go. Like your helpful constant update on the dead body on 880S last wk was great - that's why I started to turn you on every morning. Please, more traffic reports!! I'm sure it gets boring and monotonous for you to give updates every five minutes but I know I would love it. I don't have 20 minutes to watch. I know turn it on and go about my morning then come back and tivo fast forward through all the unimportant morning stuff to find the traffic.

Please more traffic reports, and for goodness sake, include the Bay Bridge in every traffic report!

in Your presence

A friend visiting this weekend uploaded the new Jason Upton cd and another artist to my iTunes. She's a great source for the latest good worship music and whenever she visits, I give her control of my computer to add stuff she thinks I'd like. She has great taste and I love what she puts on.

I listened to the Jason Upton cd this morning on the way to work (btw a really really beautiful sky again on 880S plus a lovely 43 minute drive) and cried some at a few of the songs. Perhaps I'm feeling emotional and a bit overwhelmed with decisions right now but also I just love the free spirit eight minute wandering worship tracks. I miss worship/prayer meetings that went on forever, praying and dwelling in His presence, being there, being still, being loud, napping (the best naps ever, in prayer mtgs, I highly recommend them). And JU's music reminds me of all that. His calling out for intimacy with God draws me in.

This one song "In Your presence" was about, well, being in God's presence and the freedom from all fear. As I listened and manuevered around slow cars and merged and paid toll on the San Mateo bridge, I thought about the latest episode of a TV show "Mad Men" that I just watched last night. It was tivo'd from last Thu but I lagged on watching on it. I was bummed to accidentally find out key details of what happened from websites. One reason I didn't rush to watch it was while it's a good show and they've been giving hints about a background mystery all season, each episode is not usually a huge revelation. But this one was and I wish I had watched it fresh.

MAJOR SPOILER for the AMC show "Mad Men:"

"Mad Men" is about people who work at an advertising firm in NY in 1960. There's a lot I could comment about the show but I'm just going to focus on one. The lead character Don Draper is white, tall, handsome, a successful executive, married with two kids, the one we love but also the very flawed broken man. All season, mostly through talking to his mistresses, we learn bits and pieces of Don's messed-up childhood: the son of a prostitute, he's adopted by his poor biological father and his wife in the country but enough to say, he is never treated as a real member of the family. He feels very rejected and goes into the Army during the Korean War. We see him receiving a Purple Heart for being a Lt. in the war. We see his brother tracking him down, calling him by a different name, and saying the family thought he was dead. Don painfully rejects him, giving him money to go away, but the brother kills himself over it. To almost everyone, Don is silent on his past and no one at the company or even his wife knows anything about his family or childhood.

Until this episode when a sneaky, power-hungry junior executive Pete Campbell discovers the truth when he steals a goodbye package the suicidal brother sent Don with photos and memorabilia. I don't like Pete at all and I don't think you're supposed to. He's only out for himself, treats his sometime mistress and new wife badly, and envies Don's success and even ease with people.

Pete has been asking for a promotion which Don refused to give him. Now using the info from the package, Pete has tracked down Don's secret or the bare facts of it and confronts him. "Don" was in the Korean War and when his army buddy died, Don traded dogtags and identities. He took on a new name, a new title of Lt. instead of Private, began a new life and most importantly was not linked to his horrible childhood even more. He started over.

Pete attempts to blackmail Don into giving him the promotion in exchange for the secret to remain hidden from the company. Don is careful and stands up to Pete without admitting anything or agreeing. Pete leaves without a decision to be made. Don really panics, goes straight to this mistress, and begs her to leave with him and start completely over in LA. She's excited but confused and after discussing the reality of it including leaving his children fatherless, she becomes angry and says the great line, "You don't want to run away with me. You just want to run away."

The suspense builds. I don't want Don to give Pete what he wants especially as he shows such underhanded methods but it feels like for Don to be revealed would be world-ending for him. He would be fired, family gone, and his old past would come up. The ugly past he tried so hard to escape from and deny. That he can't get away from, no matter how much he runs away.

In a great scene, Don comes into Pete's office and says, "I'm not going to run away. I won't let you hold this over my head. But you haven't thought this through." Pete says nervously, "Is this like in the movies when I have a gun but you don't think I'll use it? I'll shoot the gun, Don." All paraphrased quotes. Don starts walking intently and Pete rushes to catch up. The camera shows them heading for the president/partner Cooper's office. As Pete realizes where this is heading, he says, "Now?!" Good quotes continue until they're standing side-by-side in Cooper's office. Don now seems ready but afraid. He's ready for whatever comes. Pete seems shocked Don is taking it this far and not believing he is. Don says the first thing, an update about a new hire, to Cooper. Not what is expected. Cooper says ok then looks at Pete. Don looks at Pete. Pete's hesitant but decided to plunge forward because he believes he will triumph. "Don Draper, this man, is not who you think he is." He goes on to detail the identity switching. Don stands tall but is sweating. He just looks at his accuser, at his past all coming out despite his desperate efforts to hide it. He stands there as he is revealed, as he cannot hide behind his new name anymore. He waits for the worst.

Cooper stands up and slowly comes forward.

Cooper: Mr. [Pete] Campbell, who cares?
Campbell: Mr. Cooper, he's a fraud and a liar, a criminal even!
Cooper: Even if this were true, who cares? This country was built and run by men with worse stories than whatever you've imagined here.
Campbell: I'm not imagining anything!
Cooper: The Japanese have a saying, "A man is whatever room he is in," and right now Donald Draper is in this room. I assure you. There's no profit in forgetting this. I'd put your energy into bringing in accounts.

Then, after Campbell leaves, Cooper says, "Don, fire him if you want. But I'd keep an eye on him. One never knows how loyalty is born."

As I listened to the song "In Your Presence," I thought about this episode. About the climatic scene in Cooper's office where Don could not stop this schemey accuser so he decided to get it over with. Bring the truth out, to the boss, once and for all. No blackmail or hiding anymore. At least Cooper would know, the consequences would come, and Don would not be trapped by someone trying to bring him down. Most tv shows would enhance and lengthen the drama by letting Don agree to the blackmail but in this show, that's just not Don. And despite all his flaws, that's why we respect him.

And that's what it's like with God. I believe the enemy wants to tear us down, make us afraid to approach God, constantly whispering in our ear our shortcomings and inadequacies so that we are afraid of who we are, who we truly are, and want to avoid God. And we are blackmailed into not telling the truth, into shame, into avoiding others because we don't want our secrets out. The enemy taunts us about our past, about who we used to be, and holds it over our head.

But in His presence, as Cooper in the scene only barely represented a small glimpse of, is forgiveness and mercy. No harsh words or judgement but God's love and acceptance. What we hid, what we were so afraid to show, all our hurt places, in His presence we can give to Him. To finally let out in the light. No more darkness and hiding. But surrounded by God and accepted.

Weird!

Three times today after I went to the bathroom, my right earring fell out. Twice as I was walking back to my office and opening the office door, and once when I was drying my hands. Only my right earring, not the left one.

Weird!

Feeling hopeful

I feel more hopeful about life. What was dim and grey now feels like an early sunset, the light about to roll over the hills. It's not here yet but I feel confident that it will come soon.

Not sure exactly what's going to happen but I feel very zen and peaceful.

God, bring the good things You have coming for my life. I am waiting, in action.


* But bum on Cal's lost on Sat :( Ah, Riley, you played so well but just those last ten seconds were not that great. At least the Chargers won and LT got four rushing TD's.

Guards/nurse acquitted for juvenile's death

This makes me sad. You may have heard of this story. In Jan 2006, a 14yr boy Martin Lee Anderson was sent to a boot camp for juvenile offenders in Florida after stealing his grandmother's car and trespassing at school (not major offenses). On his first day at the camp, he collapsed while running laps and the guards thought he was "faking illness to avoid exercising on his first day in the camp." In a videotaped altercation, the drill instructors hit and kicked him and "the guards dragged him around the military-style camp's exercise yard and forced him to inhale ammonia capsules in what they said was an attempt to revive him."

[Quotes are not meant to be sarcastic, just pulling straight from the article on CNN instead of rewriting them.]

Martin "had undiagnosed sickle cell trait, a usually harmless blood disorder that can hinder blood cells' ability to carry oxygen during physical stress" and died the next day when he was taken off life support.

From the article:

Defense attorneys argued that the guards properly handled what they thought was a juvenile offender faking illness to avoid exercising on his first day in the camp.

Anderson's family had long sought a trial, claiming the state tried to cover up the case, and repeatedly sat through the painful video as it played during trial.

The all-white jury took about 90 minutes to decide whether the guards were responsible for the death of Anderson, who was black. The guards, who are white, black and Asian, stood quietly as the judge read the verdicts.

An initial autopsy by the medical examiner for Bay County found Anderson died of natural causes from sickle cell trait. A second autopsy was ordered and another doctor concluded that the guards suffocated Anderson through their repeated use of ammonia capsules and by covering his mouth.

The Legislature agreed to pay Anderson's family $5 million earlier this year to settle civil claims.

Then-Gov. Jeb Bush appointed Mark Ober, state attorney for Hillsborough County, as special prosecutor in the case. Bush also scolded Tunnell for exchanging e-mails with current Bay County Sheriff Frank McKeithen, in which he criticized those who questioned the effectiveness of the boot camp concept. He also made light of the protesters in the state capital.

And:

The defendants would have faced up to 30 years in prison had they been convicted of aggravated manslaughter of child. The jury could have convicted them of lesser charges, including child neglect and culpable negligence, but did not.

Not being a lawyer but here's my two cents. What were they intending when they kicked and hit him even as he had collapsed? This is the standard procedure for kids they think are faking sick? I don't think physical abuse should be condoned for any of the juvy kids. I know the reality is it happens but it means when it comes to the forefront and it's VIDEOTAPED and someone DIED, people should be held responsible.

An all-white jury -really? C'mon. They should at least have been convicted on the lesser charges like child neglect and culpable negligence. Who were the defense lawyers? How expensive were they and who paid for them? I doubt the drill instructors, in not a high-paying profession.

The article also says:

The death led to the resignation of Florida Department of Law Enforcement chief Guy Tunnell, who established the camp when he was Bay County sheriff.

The video of a limp Martin Lee Anderson being hit and kicked by the guards after he collapsed while exercising drew protests in the state capital and spelled the end of Florida's system of boot camps for juvenile offenders.

That's good and over-needed that the camp be rexamined/shut down. But for Martin's mother, that doesn't bring her son back.

Gratitude

I'm grateful for being able to work from home sometimes especially when I can avoid nasty snarly traffic jams for a few hours.

I am thankful for my womens group and being able to share and hear.

I am still grateful for the beautiful sky that has God written all over it.

I am thankful for choices and opportunities.

I am grateful for being able to stay longer in my current apt.

I am glad for food that other people make and they feed me with. The best.

Da move is off

Some hiccups came up in the "new apt" process and I'm not moving into the neighborhood in a few weeks as planned. Hmmm... not what I expected. Thankfully my current apt company is letting us stay longer so the current plan is for Ting and me to be here a couple more months and rethink things.

Hmmm... "widen my margin of error"... ok...

Amazing Sky

The sky has been unbelievably beautiful these last two days with the storm clouds hovering. I've seen so many completely gorgeous or "take a pause" scenes yesterday and today. When I wake up, the clouds are resting gently on the Oakland hills with the sunrise coming up, creating the illusion of a warm orange fire. Last night driving home across the Bay Bridge, the sky appeared to be a painting with the softest barely blue sky a backdrop for the ominous twirly gray-white-beige clouds to lie perfectly still against. This morning driving across the bridge, it was really amazing - the clouds blocked downtown SF but the sky behind was true blue so the high-rise buildings were shadowed dark dark brown-grey against a seemingly clear sky. It looked like all the buildings had turned two shades darker while the sky was serene summer blue. It was God in the sky, in the clouds, it was breathtaking.

It was so beautiful, thank you God for your creation.

Tuesday

I am grateful for forgetting my gym pass and talking to You about it.

I am grateful for my many pregnant friends lately - yey for new life and babies.

I am grateful for football.

Grateful

I want to pursue being more grateful in my life so I'm going to write simple gratitude posts daily for the next 10 days. I also read a research study recently that said people that wrote about what they're grateful for everyday in a journal showed an improvement in their health. I know it'll be better for my emotional and spiritual health.

I am grateful for friends who use their lunch hour to go see an apt with me. (Gracias Jill!)

I am grateful for a good job.

I am grateful for my sense of adventure and being able to adapt to change a lot.

I am grateful for Jesus' presence and how I feel re-centered and peaceful after I talk to Him.