Living simple

Ok, one change I can talk about. I decided to move into a back unit of a house owned by a family in my church. I'm moving Dec. 1. I had previously looked at the unit and decided it's too small for me and my two furry cats. It's still small - no change there - but a friend in the church Carl talked to me on Sunday about reconsidering taking it. I appreciated his talking to me, thought about it, saw the place again after church with Marjie, thought about it, talked it over with God, then thought about it some more, and decided to take it. It was one of those decisions where I knew it would happen, it felt right, and I just needed to think through the details. Or think it out so my mind could catch up to my gut/instinct.

I rely on my instinct a lot. Things just feel right or they don't. It doesn't mean everything that "feels right" will end in my favor or will even be a happy experience. But it's what I want to do or need to do or what is best for me. It doesn't mean I get everything I want but it means at least I know what I want and can deal with the disappointment if I don't get it.

It may be hard to explain to people who process and think differently. I think my disposition in this area can be a blessing from God because when something doesn't feel right (like a job for instance) and I don't get it, I can actually be pretty ok. Not hiding being sad but just "yeah, I think that's a good thing it didn't go my way. I didn't get a good feeling and it would probably have been a bad experience." I can make some decisions very quickly bc it's super clear to me what I want. And when my choices don't make sense to others, at least I know through and through that it's the right choice for me.

But the weakness in it can be overreliance on my instinct and not taking the time to do due diligence and think things through. "I feel it," I say and move forward when sometimes examining the feeling might be good too. And I can get gut feelings for others but I can't make decisions for others.

All to say, moving into the unit "feels right." Parts of it don't entirely make sense but I feel like God is leading me to choose it and make other things fall into place to make it work. And I'm beginning to hear how it all could work. The place is too small to host people which I completely love to do? Then perhaps for this season, let others host me and lean on what others can provide, not always what I can offer. Too small to store all my things, including maybe my couch? Then live simply and really think about what do I need daily to live and thrive. Meditate on our culture's reliance on abundant materialism and how I live in that too. Live simply. Think of it as an experiment and I'm always up for experiments. I'm considering not putting my TV in, party bc it's big as it's not flat-screen. I might in the end have it but I like that I'm even thinking about not having TV for eight months or so (committed until the summer). I love TV but I want more of God and pursuing my life passions and often TV feels like a hindrance to that. Not sure, just open.

I feel very open in this time. Actively waiting. Stay or go? Go where, to the left or to the right? I wait on You.