Male managers, female workers

Cary Tennis at Salon.com had some good letters he responded to while I was gone. I find this one very interesting. It's written by a man who supervises 15 middle-aged women and he's having a difficult time dealing with their petty arguing, crying, and not liking each other. I like Cary's response which is long but deals with the heart of the matter in an unique manner.

So much to comment on. Men and women just think really differently, in every aspect, and it comes out in work. There are certain things people want out of work (money, power, respect, socialness, team atmosphere, etc) and in general women want certain things more and men want other things more (of course not all women or all men fit this). I've had some pretty bad male managers and looking back, it's because they didn't realize what I really needed out of the job or from them. Sure, I got the work done and came in on time, so to speak, but we were speaking different lanuages. What I said I needed or wanted, they didn't get because to them, those things were not a priority. In general, things that ruin a workplace for a woman can barely come up on the mental scanner of a man. I guess what I'm saying is interpersonal dynamics and people and relationships are huge for women. Respect and titles and seniority are usually huge for men. Not that there aren't awesome women all career gung-ho and only interested in rising to the top (you go!) or caring men that are interested in interpersonal development. But from what I've seen and experienced, those are not the norm.

And to be honest, a lot of women working together can be difficult. Sorry to say but true. Women can be catty and mean and they do subtle but cruel things in the social group to isolate or bully each other. Esp if there's a lead woman who's doing it and letting/nonverbally encouraging others to also. And women see it all happening but men don't have a clue. I bet that is happening for this guy manager. And it wears on you and makes you hate work and want to leave as soon as possible.

To ponder on...